Yankeeees...

My condolences to all of you diehard Phillies fans........ 

But it's actually kind of cool that the Yankees won the World Series. 

Here's why...

A lot of you don't know that my grandfather passed about a month ago. He was a HUGE baseball fan, and especially loved the Yankees. 

The pastor of our church has a little boy named Keegan who used to "talk baseball" with Papa. When Papa passed, Keegan looked at his mom and said this:

"This is sad that Pastor Paul died today... 

He won't even get to see our Yankees win the pennant!

He even called it on the 1st of the year." 

I had forgotten about that until this morning. We joked about how cool it would be if the Yankees did win the pennant... and now, they won the World Series. 

Anyways, I just thought it was a cool story to share... 

Bid Him Good Morrow!

Good Morning Nation. I know you've mourned my absence.

Just so you know, this morning I had a few extra minutes to start my laundry.

Once the washer stopped, I took everything out and put in the dryer.

I know what you're thinking: BFD.
Right.
It IS actually a big deal. Because shortly after doing so, I remembered that I never actually put detergent into the washer in the first place.

Ya, I know. Typical.

Anyway, NEWSFLASH.....

THIS IS WHY THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA

TOPS ALL SCHOOLS IN THE NATION:

We've all seen Harry Potter and his friends play numerous intense games of Quidditch,

and don't deny it... you know you've always secretly
wanted to pull out that broom and hit some balls.

Well. Today's your day.

Meet UGA's Finest:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5646160447

I'll join if you join....

No. Really.

Um, speaking of movies and EXTREME SPORTS....

If you know me, than you know how I feel about swords.

So you can imagine how excited I was when I saw an advertisement by the elevator this morning for ARMA.

Apparently, it's UGA's version of L.A.I.R.E.
(crossing my fingers....)

L.A.I.R.E. (Live Action Interactive Roleplaying Explorers)
was the one thing that made Role Models the best movie ever.
Until just now, I had no idea they actually are real.

Well. Obviously I have some signing up to do. I wonder how many calories you burn when using a plastic sword?

Nosh Alert: Cargo Pants Included...

Just in case you didn't know, 

this is where I get my inspiration from:

And by inspiration, I may or may not mean self-esteem.

Bummer. This video could have been called "Till Dusk We Vom." Or "How To Be A Huge Mistake."

Okay, I'm not trying to be rude. Really. 

I'm just wearing my Honesty Ring.

Game-face, bro. Game-face.

A new semester has begun, and I've already learned way too much about people from overhearing their obnoxious phone conversations on the bus to school.

Yeah, that's right. I take the bus. As I've said in the past, I'm so down with public transportation it's ridiculous.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTENTION MYSPACE FANS: Twitter continues to take over the world. Not only can you follow Kim Kardashian's current status, but now you can actually "tweet" to God.

As long as your prayer is under 140 characters long, a Tel Aviv native has promised to print them out and deliver them to the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time I checked you couldn't send a MySpace message to God.

Twitter- 1, Myspace- 0.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, a few pick-pockets in London are no longer creepily sticking their hands into stranger's pockets for selfish reasons.

Instead, they're sticking their hands into stranger's pockets to brighten people's lives.

Yeah, that's still creepy.

The new craze is known as "put-pockets," and the initiative plans to go countrywide.

I'm going to be honest here. This sounds like a disaster to me.

Just imagine... you're on the subway, you feel someone stick their hand into your back pocket, you turn around, punch them in the eye while screaming horrible, terrifying things about their mother... and then you reach into your pocket and realize they were actually putting money into your pocket. Ouch.

I mean, If I catch someone touching me that I don't know, chances are I'm not going to pretend like nothing is going on and hope that they're just put-pocketing me.

If anything, my natural ninja skills would instantly take over.

And I'd throw some 'bows.

And it would probably look exactly like those dudes.

OKAY--- I get it, I get it. You're just trying to pay it forward. I just don't know why you have to be all creepy about it.

Just sayin'.

It's WEDNESDAY, Nation, and you know what that means.

This is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Are you from a small town, or are you currently living in one? Do people often refer to you as "different" or "city"?

If your answer is YES, then chances are you've heard your fellow locals mention a disease called OLDTIMER'S. 

Or maybe, if your town is a bit farther up north, you may have heard of the disease called ALLTIMER'S. 

Oh, you know what? I'm pretty sure it's also known as ALZHEIMER'S.

Which, by the way, drinking pure grapefruit juice (not from concentrate) can help to prevent.

Anyway, for some reason lately I've heard way too many adults get this wrong. But all I can do is sit there and smile, laughing hysterically on the inside.

I'm sorry, am I being rude? Maybe. But whatever, it's Wednesday.

What's the deal with SWEETENERS...

If you're a coffee or tea drinker, or an avid baker like myself (ha!), you've probably considered switching from sugar to Splenda.

Well. Here's the deal with Splenda... it's NOT derived from sugar, it's made from Sucralose (which is made with Chlorine). It has great potential harm, which you can read more about in this article. Yes, I know the article is pretty extreme, but it has some interesting information.

Another option? Stevia, an all natural herb sweetener, is what I've been using for a few years now. But apparently that has it's risks as well. This article explores why the FDA hasn't approved it to be used in food, but it also concludes that unless you're consuming a ridiculous amount of Stevia a day, you should remain harmless. 

Then there's always the Organic Cane Sugar, which is what we could call the "real version" of the refined white sugar that most of us are used to using.

So, weening yourself off of sugar in your drinks is probably the BEST thing to do. But if you need a little sweetener in your coffee or tea, I would probably stick with Stevia or raw honey. As for baking, go with Fair Trade Organic Sugar. 

Oh yeah, DITCH the SODA nation! DITCH IT!

Sunday FUNDAY.

Get Some DANG Manners

Today is Saturday. And what I'm about to discuss with all of you is Surrious.

Today I came across an article that addressed the real reason why Paris and Lindsay have been working on their ettiquette? (Don't worry, I didn't notice either).

Well. Let's think for a minute.

What's the answer to everything lately? Oh yeah...

The Recession.

Apparently it's harder to get jobs in Hollywood when you're out on a Tuesday afternoon just crashing cars or talking all kinds of smack to innocent strangers. Or whatever. It doesn't matter anymore because author Jordan Christy has come out with a new "Bible" for celebs who pull the INAPPROPRIATE CARD like it's their job.

Ya, I know what you're thinking. I'm extremely inappropriate whenever I get the chance. But here's the thing... Big Shocker: I'm really not as popular as Paris Hilton. Which means... I don't have someone following my day to day actions.

At least, not that I know of.

And even if I did, they'd probably get so tired of me going in and out of blockbuster and drinking tea. So yeah. That's boring.

Anyway....

Naturally I had to see what this Jordan Christy is all about. I mean... she's tackling the silent roar also known as Celebrity Skankiness.

I googled her name, and instead of a sweaty 35 year old with braces and wrinkles, she's actually a total babe-tron. A babe-tron with -- get this -- a BLOG. I like her style.

Here's the best part: One of the chapters in her book is called "Keep Your Chin Up and Your Skirt Down." Haha!

Check out her blog here.

And as my mom likes to say, don't come home with any beads!

WORD.

PUMP IT UP---

---Without feeling totally gross and disgusting .........

My new favorite thing...

By the way, Steaz doesn't set you up for failure by promising to make you fly or something totally unrealistic.

It also does not resemble bodily fluids whatsoever. 

WEDNESDAY'S WORDS OF WISDOM...

Always, always, ALWAYS keep your digital camera with you.

You never know when you'll find a baby.

Or your creepy looking old best friend on some kid's bike...

by the way... he's an artist... check him out... jasonandrewturner.com

----------------------------------------------------

On another note... I've officially had two dreams concerning Vampire Lions in the past week.

And funny enough, I'm usually with a group of my "friends" who somehow talk me into being the bait.

But for some reason, these "friends" always decide to wait until the lion has almost --- not completely --- ripped my arm off.

Then they proceed to stake the lion with a wooden arrow.

Dude. Maybe they're trying to tell me something.

Or...

I need to get new friends.

Jamie Lee Curtis and the Digestion Chronicles

Good morning Nation.

It's Monday, and thanks to Allen at Charter Communications who "had a long night last night out with his old frat buddies," I now officially have my very own reliable internet connection.

Just in case you're wondering, The Double-A Hott World Tour has officially ended. If you didn't make it out to say a friendly hello to me, keep your eyes peeled...

Congratulations. Your next chance is coming up on the 30th of NEVER.

The World Tour included the following places: Amelia Island, New Orleans, and Philadelphia.
(World Tour sounds a lot cooler than National Tour. And what. )

Needless to say, not taking summer classes was the best decision EVER. (Yes, I'm still in school).

To sum it up:

Amelia Island = Relaxing family vacation at the Ritz with my parents.
New Orleans = So much to see, not enough time, and HOT. Disgustingly HOT.
Philadelphia = Experiencing the new and improved Fishtown 'hood, spending tons of time with KL and Van and all of my old friends, loving every moment.

I'll post pictures soon.


On another note, I'd like to bring something to your attention: It has to do with Jamie Lee Curtis so you know this ish has got to be SERIOUS.

So this morning, when Allen was here installing the router, I got tired of awkwardly walking around trying to act busy -- don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about -- so I turned on the TV.

Suddenly, all I can hear is the sound of a woman's voice whispering "I'm feeling irregular today." I look up at the tv, and shes holding her stomach. (Eww).

Then, JLC shows up in all her glory, talking about the benefits of Activia yogurt and how regular you will feel in just a few days.

Just in case you don't know who JLC is, here's a recent photo.

Yes. She's doing the peace sign.
I thought I was the only one who could do that and look really cool.

The only decent memories I have of JLC is her role in the great all-time award-winning classic film House Arrest.

Nothing against JLC, but let's be honest. Digestion in general isn't exactly sexy.

So, naturally, one could assume that a sexy spokesperson would be chosen in order to sort of "cover up" how unappetizing Activia yogurt can be.

I mean, I'm just sayin'. It kinda made me nosh.

So the commercial ended and the Today show returned to their segment on an artist in NYC who is photographing topless women of all shapes and sizes in public situations.

Don't get the wrong idea though... it's very tasteful.

Poor Allen, when he looked up and saw it, he quickly looked back down and just kept on working.

A portion of the funds made from these photos goes to a breast cancer research fund, and the art is actually really cool. Go to The Today Show website if you want to see more about it.

I'm off to the Family Farm today, where I fully intend on winning multiple games of Ping Pong and basketball.

Thursday Morning Gross Effect

I saw this story on HLN this morning and it made me completely nosh.

Ed Thomas, an Iowa high school football coach and 2005 NFL High School Football Coach of the Year was shot and killed on Wednesday by a former student of his... INSIDE the weight room at the school, just before 8 AM.

Apparently there were students in the weight room with the coach at the time. How disturbing.

The shooter, Mark Becker, the 24-year-old who had played football for Thomas was apparently supposed to be in a psychiatric ward after being arrested several days prior.

ESPN has a great article, click here to read more.

This is one of those things that makes you think... life is short, don't take your . RIP Coach.

-----------

In other tragic news, have you heard about Neda, the young philosophy student who was shot while walking past a protest in Iran?

Yet another story I saw on the news and immediately wanted to vom. Here's an article on that. The video footage is online somewhere, I just can't bring myself to look at it.

Poser-ville

Last week, I went to the beach. While I was there, I noticed some random old dudes snapping pictures. They were more than likely amateur paparazzi.... (the recession).

Naturally, I figured they were snapping photos of my body to photoshop a celebrities face into.

But then....... I opened up US Weekly today and saw this:

Yeah, that's just Miley and Nick (Jonas, not Lachey).

They're what we like to call "jet skiing".... on Tybee Island. AKA - My old territory.

Back in the hott nanny days, I was a huge fan of Miley. Mostly because her show was the only one that didn't make me want to vom when the kids would watch the disney channel (sorry Raven).

But now... she's been getting on my straight nizz-erves.
I mean, first of all, I used to be at Tybee Island like... ev-er-ee DAY.

And now... she has her nose pierced. How Kelly Clarkson of you, Miley.


Whatever. If I would have known she would be there, we would be instant BFF's right now. Instant.

So. Yeah. I guess those old dudes weren't just being creeps.

A Simple Math Equation

Take a few jolly Mexicans,

+

A nice pile of Cocaine,

+

A ferocious shark,

+

Your everyday Laser Sword,

=

TOTALLY SCREWED.

Clever, though.

Here's the article.

Summer 2009 HOTT - NESS

The Official SHAIKENS HOTT LIST.

(OOOOUCH!)

THINGS TO DO:

Six Flags
Go to Amelia Island
Blog for once
Go to St. Simons Island
Return to Nannytown
Read 2 books
Braves games
Go down the river
Make new beats on my Yamaha
Go to Philly
Play tennis
Go to New Orleans
Get super tan
Tons of board games
Boxing
Perfect my basketball skills
Complete crossword puzzles without the internet
Climb Stone Mtn
Vegas trip

THINGS TO WATCH:

Weeds
Nurse Jackie
True Blood
Away We Go
Paris Hilton's My New BFF
Dexter

Yeah. Cool.

They Call Me The Hunter.

Some of you may know that my birthday was a week-ish ago. Some of you also may know that there's this one thing I've been asking for since last year.

Well. Thanks to my good friend here,
(who also happens to look like Wolverine)

...I got this masterpiece of goodness:

So naturally, my first instinct was...
"Finally! My wolf shirt is going to bring all the boys to my yard!"

True or false? FALSE.

Apparently, I got the wrong one. According to d-listed, dudes everywhere are buying this shirt to attract the ladies.

So I've been thinking that maybe I've been going about this all wrong. You know, the t-shirt thing. Maybe I need something... more subtle.

Fannypack?

Anyway, speaking of creativity thieves, CNBC is doing a special called... get this...

The Oprah Effect.

Nice. Way to steal my name, jerks.

I just can't win, can I.

In other news, Paris Hilton's My New BFF is back with an all new, totally predictable season... Guaranteed to make you really hate yourself for watching it.

Springtime Scandals: OMG

Sure, I may look sneaky...

... or foxy, rather...

...BUT: I have never stolen anything in my life. And by that I mean, anything from a retail store. Cookies don't count.

Well. I accidentally swiped some sweet wedge sandals from Old Navy the other day. I was so caught up in this intense political conversation with Margot that I left the store with the shoes in my hand. Ten minutes later, I'm at the other end of the mall when I realize I have them in my hand. "Well, obviously no one noticed..." says Margot. Classic.

Here's my logic:

I have really bad coordination, right? And bad things tend to happen to me a lot because I'm simply not paying attention. I also have scientific proof and/or tons of stories that increase the chances that Karma is for real.

So... I mean, can you imagine? If I kept those shoes and wore them?

It would be like asking for a nice wipeout on a
slick floor in the middle of Wal-Mart.

Not that it would matter if anyone at Wal-Mart saw me fall....................................

So I marched back in to the Navy and paid for them. The funniest part is that they didn't even notice me walking back in with a pair of shoes. So I played it off like I had never left. And now I have some sweet shoes.

Speaking of scandalous, I am so excited that
a lovely, professional woman finally won Celebrity Apprentice!!

Not.

No, really. How in the world is that even right? I think it's a scandal.

All I got from the end of the show was that she won because she had so much energy.
I didn't know the game was all about who could be the oldest and most vibrant! Heck, my own Granny Pearl should be on that show. Anyway, Annie should have won. LAME.

On a more personal note, Joan Rivers: Get on a boat! Get that nasty 'tude outta here. And, by the way, you really aren't that energized. Let's be honest.

xoxo,
shaikens!

P.S.: I'm hoping to get a boyfriend with that picture above. Dad says its ugly, but dannng... I look GOOD!

Serious News.

Blog Nation, I am back. And totally life-changed.

Yeah, that's right. Two weeks ago, Granny Pearl told me a tiny jewel of information that will change my life forever.

Are you ready for this?

I am... in fact... completely related to Pocahontas.

I'm not sure why no one ever thought to actually tell me this, considering I'm always trying to come up with some cool thing to say when people ask me if I'm latino or cherokee or something awesome.

Instead, I have to either lie and feel real guilty for a minute, or straight up tell them the truth. "No, I'm straight up boring and Irish."

Next on the list, I feel that I should inform you that I have NOT been keeping up with Idol. I don't even know if it's still on or not.

I'm also officially, for the first time in a LONG time, unemployed. It's part of THE STAY IN SCHOOL CAMPAIGN. But this time, it's not for Tribble. It's for me. Working + School = VERY VERY HARD. Let's just say, I may not be on the Dean's List for the first time in years this semester. Grrr. Anyway.

I've been ridiculously busy. Making movies.

Yeah, that's right. I am the bomb dot com. We finally finished filming last night... the movie is due Wednesday... so don't worry, if it's not horrible, I'll put it up here ASAP. And then you will know why you haven't seen me or heard from me in a while.

---Shaikens Security Alert--- have you guys heard about the marketing Professor at my school? I was in town when it happened. Talk about getting freaked out right before Twilight.

.

Still kind of a sensitive subject around here. As far as I know he is still wanted. I didn't know it was his ex-wife, but thats what this article says.

And lastly... I leave you with the impeccable wisdom and knowledge of good 'ole Professor Duffy. Once again, I'm still pissed we never did anything like this in my class.

I'm pretty confused as to where this idea came from, hahaha.

HAPPY TUESDAY!

"I made a moral choice, April."

It's Monday... and yeah, I'm up this early. What can I say? I like to be responsible.

This weekend, I went to Tennessee for my best friends birthday. Not only did I see an insane amount of mules, but there were thousands of KP look-a-likes.

Nation. Let me warn you. The Kenny Powers Effect is taking over Tennessee.


And I like it.

SPRING BREAK 2009 GO WILD

Or, in my case, DO NOTHING.

....Or, WAIT--- even better:

Install a quick and speedy flash drive into your prosthetic finger.

Hmmm...

Clever.

I would love to see what happens when he pops that baby off and sticks it into the side of his laptop. In public.

This article shows that readers of PC World are RUTHLESS! Or, just plain jealous. According to their comments, apparently this idea was "stupid" and "gross."

Psh, okay. OR it was the coolest idea ever. Get over yourselves, PC Nation.

In other news, The Jonas Brothers performed incredibly on last week's episode of South Park.


Believe it or not, the JB Fans are NOT HAPPY! Actually, they're "STARTING TO GET REALLY UPSET."

Speaking of Comedy Central, how awesome would it be to intern with THIS GUY--

Yeah, I know. Very Realistic.

Ain't I GOT IT GOIN' ON........?

All I know is that this week has been INCREDIBLY adventurous.

Sunday night, I found out that this sweet little woman had been leading a double life.

Yeah, that's my Mom. It was all brought to my attention when the S.W.A.T. team showed up at my door, telling me they had found guns with my name on them.

After insisting that I had never even touched a gun, they led me down to the secret hatch below our house. As I walked in, I noticed thousands of packs of toilet paper, gallons of water, flashlights, and canned food. I looked over and saw my mom, but she looked different.

Instead of the typical sweet housewife, she had suddenly transformed into a top-grade B.A., dressed from top to bottom in a tight leather pantsuit... similar to Cat Woman.

Or this.

Then, the S.W.A.T. team guys showed me her secret collection...

There were tiny labels with names on each of the guns. Some of them said my name, and others said "Amalie," which was mom's alias.

Needless to say, I love my life. And my dreams.

Anyway--- I think I broke a record for falling off of the blog world. My b.

I have spring break coming up... where will I go?
Philly?
Tennessee?
WORK?
I don't know...

Will someone fill me in on things going on in the world? I haven't even turned on my TV. Except to watch Sawyer on Wednesday.

Hott Nanny Idol is BACK.

Yeah, that's right.

I tried to keep my Idol blogging to a ZERO because I know how much most of you guys hate it, but I just couldn't help it tonight.

TATIANA DEL TORO.
CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY
SHAIKENS CERTIFIED VOM-WORTHY.

please. go away.

Nation, you may want to do yourself a favor and DVR Idol from now on, so that you can fast forward every shot with her in it.

ALSO - you may want to know that Tatiana has a scandalous past...

Hott Nanny: Did You Know?

It's only Tuesday, and I've already learned a million valuable things this week.

--- I'm not the only one who still listens to Kiss from a Rose by Seal.


As you can imagine, the Fine Arts building is full of "interesting" people. I shouldn't have been so surprised this morning when I passed a charming young boy who was singing such a life-changing ballad.

--- Asbestos poisoning causes your boobs to swell. This fact has not totally been verified, actually. I just heard it from some... scholar. He works for Wal-Mart, so he must know.

--- The FLN channel has a new show, Wingman, that will most definitely bring you out of your darkest nights. After watching two episodes tonight, I feel slightly better about my inability to successfully date. Oh yes, Chronic Single Syndrome... still alive and going strong.

--- McDonald's employees are more giving than you would think. The other night, I wanted some chicken nuggets. I know what you're thinking: GROSS, SICK, NASTY.

Yes.
My point exactly.

So, I drove to the McDonald's closest to my house, which is never busy. When I got to the pay window, I realized I didn't have my debit card or any cash on me.

I got real awkward and said "Umm, I don't have my card with me."

Awkward pause.
"Sorry!" I said, and with that,
I drove off...speeding past the pick-up window.

As I was turning out of the parking lot, all I could hear was the other guy yelling, "Ma'am!! You forgot your food???!"

Oops. How embarrassing. I guess I could have gotten some free nuggets.

But no. Instead, I drove home, got my debit card, and went to the OTHER McDonald's and waited in the drive-thru line for 45 minutes.

Now THAT'S dedication to white meat.

You can imagine how mad I was the next morning when I found a ten dollar bill in my purse. It had been there the whole time.

Since the obvious signs that it wasn't meant to be for me and the nugs WERE NOT CLEAR, I am going to resort to this photo for future cravings.


Ok, so maybe that is a bit rude of me. I'm sorry. Google images is the bomb dot com.

Hey, what am I doing on here blogging? I have homework to do...

What a HUGE letdown.

I cannot, for the LIFE OF ME, wake up at a decent time on the weekends. If I don't absolutely have to get up for work or class, I won't.

I went to bed last night with a nice little list in my head of what I was going to get accomplished today before my group meetings this afternoon.

The result: I just woke up.
It's noon.

Speaking of group meetings, I met with some people from one of my classes the other night. This is who they said I looked like.

Yes, that's right. Ashley from The Bad Girls Club.
(now THAT's high class).

First of all, I'm German and Irish. She is clearly not. Second, I more than definitely do not have a bod like hers. But lastly, and most of all, people, my boobs sadly do not sit like a shelf on my chest.

Sorry. I just really needed to clear all of that up.

Moving on:

Since today is Sunday, I thought I would leave you all with some words of encouragement. If you're going through a tough time with your loved one, going through a divorce, or just can't seem to make things work... take some advice from the Cambodians.

A Cambodian woman recently had an affair with a village policeman, leaving her husband with nothing else to do but saw their house in half.



Here's the article. It will blow your mind.

Monday = Funday

NOT.

Nation. Lots of things going on in the world today.

No, I'm not talking about Michael Phelps smoking pot. Please. I'm annoyed just thinking about how many times I've heard it mentioned in the past 18 hours. OVER. IT.
Besides, he looks like a frog alien. Where else is he going to make friends?

This Monday, in particular, has been extremely eventful.
I got kind of domestic, ate a lean cuisine, and washed my clothes.
I drew some costume and set sketches for class.
I wrote a small paper.
I even got domestic again and cleaned my bathroom.
BUT... nothing beats this:

I saved some lives.

All joking aside, my neighbor's young daughter came knocking on my door earlier. Her mom was having a seizure, so we called the EMT's and they came and took them to the ER. Later on, we picked them up from the hospital and took them home.

I'm just glad I was home. I mean, normally I would have been........
at dairy queen.

Or something.

By the way, I'm pretty excited about the STEELERS winning the game last night. I'm even more excited about how many 3D commercials there were. Really.

I'm just waiting for 3D outfits to be cool.

Speaking of 3D, I'm very disappointed in every single person I know. I don't understand why NO ONE will go see My Bloody Valentine with me.



Friends, we are so over.

K-Roger's...

The Perfect Opportunity to GET AWKWARD.

No. Really.

Last week it occurred to me that going to the grocery store is almost always extremely uncomfortable.

First of all, an awkward glare is inevitable when your extra large shopping cart is blocking the whole entire aisle. The chances of someone, or me, actually moving your cart because you are so intrigued by the huge selection of bread are pretty high.

Then there's the milk aisle. There's always that one senior citizen who can't decide which milk to try this week. While in deep thought, they somehow manage to also block every other milk door, leaving you with 3 options:
1. Stand directly behind the citizen and breathe deeply. And wait.
2. Interrupt them. And feel like a total jerk.
3. Try the only milk that is accessible. Which is usually something nasty. Like soymilk. (VOM)

Nation, I know you're dying to know what triggered this epiphany.
Well. Let me just tell you.

The K-Roger's in Athens only has one entrance and exit. As I was trying to leave, I got stuck behind a woman who honestly looked like she could probably pick up some serious speed if the prize was a chicken leg.

Instead, this woman was more interested in talking on her cell phone and walking slower than the citizens at Sunrise Assisted Living.

I was directly behind her, and there was no getting around her. Trust me.
There were a couple of teenage guys behind me who thought it was absolutely hilarious. I was glad I wasn't the only one, haha. But really.

K-Roger's: Get some chicken legs by the exits. Thanks.


Mmmm.

The BIG 44

The one and only time I've ever been to Washington, D.C. was on a "family trip" when I was probably 9. Besides the brief memory of my step sister vomiting in the middle of a museum, the only other thing I remember is my Dad constantly talking about going to the mall.

Yeah.

Little did I know he was talking about THIS mall.


I never understood why he was so frustrated with me that day when I kept asking to go to the mall.

Anyway, have you guys seen the news? There's a billion and one people crowded around The National Mall right now, getting ready for the inauguration. It's 21 degrees, people.

Ear, Nose, and Throat doctors everywhere are shouting with joy.

I'm crossing my fingers that the actual inauguration will cut into our valuable classroom time today.

Sorry, school. You're already on my nerves.

But really--- today is kind of a big deal.

Nation, I'm out. Keep it real.

xo

TGIMN ---

Good Morning, Nation.

The Eagles lost yesterday to the... CARDINALS. Yeah. Bummer.

Most people have today off, in honor of MLK Jr.

But not me, of course. I try to work as much as possible, obviously.

I've been working all weekend on a short film that we are submitting to campusmoviefest.com... we finished last night really late, and I've only had a couple of hours of sleep.

Work today should be fun. REAL FUN, ya'll. The only thing keeping me motivated is a catered lunch from STRICKLAND'S................

I can't wait to show you our little film....

To those of you who actually have to do something today: Keep it real, and make it good.

xoxo

Clint Eastwood... BALLER FOR LIFE!

It's Wednesday...... only 2 more days until TGIF!

Last night I saw GRAN TORINO.

I think it's safe to say that the end of this film was Clint's way of saying he's done in Hollywood.

The acting was pretty awful.
Except for Clint, of course.


Or, as Blake pointed out... maybe that's just how Asian actors do it. I mean, who is one of the most famous Asian actors?

Jackie Chan. And he's got sweet moves.

Have a grrrrrreat day BLOG NATION!

Bedtime Frustrations?

I have officially given up all hope I've ever had in the "top sheet."

I've never understood why society required us to have two sheets. One for the mattress, that ideally doesn't come off every night, and the second one that endlessly falls off the bed and gets tangled up in everything.

Nation, in all honesty. Do you REALLY use that top sheet? Or would life be a lot less complicated without it?

My top sheet is now in the towel closet. Take that, society.

GO EAGLES!!!!