How NOT checking your email can pay off...

I just checked my yahoo account for the first time in over a month. Oops. My b.

Well. You're never gonna believe this.

In my absence, I was not only awarded a serious sum of money, but I was also offered a wedding ring.

What? Shaikens? Wedding Ring? What?
Yeah. That's right.

I was curious what it would take to get a two-word text link from your site hyperlinked to ours (www.superiorweddingrings.com). We are a relatively new company and we are trying to improve our page ranking on Google. We are operating on a small budget, but we would be more than willing to give a tungsten wedding ring or a tungsten wedding ring set from our site in exchange for a link. Let me know what we would need to do to make this happen. Thanks in advance for any help you can give us.

Thanks again,
Jeff
Superior Wedding Rings

Apparently all I have to do is advertise for Superior Wedding Rings, and they will send me my very own wedding ring.

Do you know what THIS MEANS PEOPLE?

Yeah. I don't either.

Either way, it doesn't matter because if Jeff doesn't send me my ring, I'll still be rich.

This E-mail is to inform you that your e-mail have emerged a winner of £500,000.00 GBP (Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in our online Give-away 1Oth year Anniversary draws.To claim your give-away prize, send the following Your full
names.................,sex...............................,Location............................,
Alternate e-mail address.................., Your winning
details.................
To your processing agent.


Well first of all, I must be seriously rich because they assigned me a processing agent. Second, what are 10th year anniversary draws? When I hear that, I think of an old grandmother, talking about her sons pants.
Or these.